


Recompence

by Flatfootmonster



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Comfort, Kinda, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Top Isak Valtersen, not quite smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 14:47:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14114649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flatfootmonster/pseuds/Flatfootmonster
Summary: “Why are you awake, baby?” his voice eased every tense muscle in Isak’s body, the vibrations running through him like a song that nourished his soul. With that relief, his control weakened on his emotions. That imagined feeling of loss was real and sharp, like a knife point pushed against his throat. The breath he released was too heavy; Even’s eyes opened and he blinked, focusing on Isak’s face he frowned. “Did you have another dream?” his hand moved towards Isak’s face, he could feel it even if he couldn't see it because his eyes were squeezed shut to stop the tears. Fingers pushed stray hair from Isak’s forehead.





	Recompence

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. So, I totally intended to write some smutty goodness in response to Lady Darkness's short, filthy fic ( [Busted](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14036109)) because she planted the seed of Top!Isak and it was hot.... and then I started writing and apparently my smut is not working. Or I need to renew my membership or some shit. Anyway, I decided to post what I had up until the sticking point, hopefully some of you will enjoy
> 
> Love, Becs <3

Thick, black tendrils of smoke seemed to curl around his limbs holding him in place. He couldn't move, not an inch; even his head was frozen in place. He was staring at the open door of his bedroom and Even was pacing from one point to the next, holding a large bag that had no bottom and filling it with things: Isak’s favorite hat, the drawings from the wall were torn down and thrown in, the clothes that were now equal parts Even and his followed.

Isak opened his mouth to speak but it felt dry. Too dry to swallow let alone speak. As hard as he forced his chest to expel  _ something _ —just like trying to move his body—he failed. Only a withered wail was released. It was enough to bring Even’s head swinging towards the bed. 

Those eyes weren't blue, they were flames of anger but he didn't know what he had done. Why was he so angry? As much as the structure of his body stayed immovable, he collapsed with pain inside. 

_ Please, please don't be angry with me. Don't go. _

“If you loved me you'd stop me.” 

_ But I do and I can't move. I can't talk! _

Even shook his head, disgusted. He picked up the cardamom and that was thrown into the abyss too. Isak couldn't blink, he couldn't look away. Tears stung his eyes and he felt hot, like his face was too close to an open fire, drying any ounce of moisture from him. Leaving him dessicated and useless and empty.

He tried to speak again but it felt like someone was sat on his chest. He couldn't fill his lungs. He couldn't breathe and now he was staring at Even’s back as he faded into the void that was his open bedroom door. In his head he was screaming but he was suffocating. He wouldn't survive, couldn't live. 

_ Please don't, Even! _

* * *

 

Isak lurched awake and gasped in a deep lung full of air, eyes wide and staring in the dark and quiet room. Immediately he pawed at the space next to him and felt his chest release air and anxiety in one go as his hand landed on Even’s warm and still arm. He was sleeping. Isak had been dreaming. 

It was a dream but it didn't undo the terror he felt, it was so real, so vivid. Being helpless and watching Even fade from his life, taking everything good with him. His breath was laboured still and his whole body seemed to shake with fear of the irrational. His chest and throat still ached with the need to cry. 

The curtain shifted in the breeze and the wind brought rain harder onto the glass. He stared at the muted glow that outlined the window as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

Fingers tightened around Even’s arm, Isak wanted to wake him but he knew he shouldn't. He always hated waking Even when he was asleep, knowing full well there would be days and periods that he would find it almost impossible to find rest. 

Turning his head, Isak searched out Even. He could see clear enough now to find his profile and make out the other arm that was slung up above Even’s head. He looked peaceful and perfect. Isak could live with a nightmare, he decided. 

Sighing, Isak turned on his side, content to just feel more of Even’s heat until his body calmed, his heart was still trying to beat out of his chest. Images of that red, vengeful gaze burned behind Isaks eyelids; he couldn't close his eyes right now. He'd just look at Even until the dream eased away. 

Then something happened, something unseen— _ metaphysical _ . One of those things that always seems to occur between them, a connection that Isak could never understand but he felt no need to. Even’s chest stirred, a deep breath summoning life and consciousness. His body turned towards Isak, shielding him from the darkness the rest of the room faded into. His lips curved into a small smile, even as his eyes stayed closed. 

“Why are you awake, baby?” his voice eased every tense muscle in Isak’s body, the vibrations running through him like a song that nourished his soul. With that relief, his control weakened on his emotions. That imagined feeling of loss was real and sharp, like a knife point pushed against his throat. The breath he released was too heavy; Even’s eyes opened and he blinked, focusing on Isak’s face he frowned. “Did you have another dream?” his hand moved towards Isak’s face, he could feel it even if he couldn't see it because his eyes were squeezed shut to stop the tears. Fingers pushed stray hair from Isak’s forehead.

He attempted to clear his throat to speak but it was still restricted by the pressure of loss imagined. Instead, he just nodded. Arms instantly enveloped him and Isak pushed his nose into Even’s neck, inhaling his scent, as their bare skin pressed together. Isak wanted every atom of his being connected to Even. 

“Its ok.” 

“Please don't leave me.” Isak’s voice was a soft rasp.

“I'd never do that.” His lips punctuated the statement with a full stop, pushed into Isak’s neck. “Your heart is beating so fast.” 

“You were leaving and you were taking everything. I couldn't move and I couldn't speak-” the words poured out of Isak at a jagged frequency but slowed as he began to feel ridiculous for being this fucked up over a dream.  _ Again _ . 

As always, Even was nothing but soothing. He made a shushing noise into Isak’s ear. Rolling onto his back, he kept Isak held tight to his chest and began to trace patterns down his back until the breaths came a little easier. 

“I'm sorry.” he whispered.

Isak snorted. “You didn't do anything, it's just my fucked up mind.” he grumbled into Even’s shoulder. 

“Well dream me is an asshole.” Even snickered. “I feel responsible.” 

“No. I've just never been more terrified of anything than I am of losing you.” fingers were smoothing through his hair and Isak could close his eyes now and not just to hold back tears, the images had faded enough not to stop his heart. Even kissed his temple, humming in response. 

“It’s scares me, too. More than anything. But we're here together, in this minute. Remember?” 

Isak nodded. 

“And if it helps, I can always make sure you go to bed too tired to dream.” Even laughed the words.

Isak let himself smile before propping himself up on his elbows to smirk down at Even. “And how would you do that?” It was astonishing how quickly Even could shift his moods.

“I'm sure I can come up with something.” His hands cupped Isak’s face, urging his face down. Even met him half way, their lips coming together for a moment—soft and chaste—before his head dropped back onto the pillow, leaving Isak hovering above and needing more. It felt like a reunion after years apart, the first kiss after a devastating quarrel, a breath of air after a deadly near miss. Isak was filled with a need to feel life, to feel Even and immerse himself in their bond— _ their love _ .

“If you're trying to make up for your dream self, you'll have to try better than that. He's a total asshole.” 

“ _ Total asshole _ ?” 

“Uh-huh.” he paused for a moment, his finger tracing along Even’s collarbone. “And—erm—I'm not all that tired, I might have nightmares again...” 

“You might?” 

“I think so.” 

Even grinned at him. “Isak Valtersen, was this just a set-up so you could seduce me?” 

“Is it working?” 

Isak watched as Even chewed on his lower lip, pretending to assess the situation in all seriousness. “I think you could probably seduce me wearing a santa hat and a hula skirt.” 

Isak lowered himself further down onto Even’s chest, edging closer to his lips. “I'd look awesome in a hula skirt.” 

Even’s eyebrows rose at that. “I think that's a claim you're gonna have to back up. Maybe Friday, pre-drinks?” 

“You always have an answer for everything.” Isak murmured through his grin. 

“I do? I thought that was you.” 

“ _ Shush _ .” 

“Oh, you're so nice.” Even’s words were lost in soft laughter before Isak muted him entirely, pressing his lips onto Even’s. Mock indignation melted under Isak’s tongue as he pushed into Even’s mouth, and the fingers that tangled in his hair were almost instantaneous. Always, their kisses were only a heartbeat from being something heavier, and Isak’s need for compensation was the final straw. 

His thumbs stroked along Even’s jaw, before running down his throat, fingers teasing the skin as they flowed over muscle and bone. Isak grinned when the heart that beat against his chest was almost as rapid as his own pulse had been when he’d woken, but the cause being polar opposites. 

Isak’s mouth was on his neck, hands gripping his waist as he pulled himself closer to Even’s body, pushing his legs further apart as Isak made room for himself there. Even let out a groan as their bodies rocked together, before snorting out a short burst of laughter.

“I thought  _ I _ was supposed to be making it up to  _ you _ ?”

“Oh, you will.” Isak snickered into Even’s shoulder. “I need you to say,” Isak paused as he kissed down Even’s sternum, “how much you want-no,  _ need  _ me,” fingers tightened in his hair as his tongue ran over Even’s nipple, already pebbled, “and that you’ll never leave me.” 

Even’s breath was heavy as he tried to reply, distracted by the mouth trailing down his stomach. “You don’t have to-” he was interrupted by a gasp when Isak moved further down his body, one hand pushing his thigh higher still as wet kisses trailed over his hip bone, “you don't have to do this to have me say that, baby.” The words rushed out of him, before he was distracted again. 

“I want to hear you say it when your mindless,” Isak stopped to look up at Even, despite not being able to make him out clearly, he knew Even would be watching, “and I’m inside you.”

Isak smirked as Even’s head fell back on to the pillow. “Jesus Christ, Isak. I love your fucking mouth.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As always - comments, criticism and suggestions all welcome! <3


End file.
